Monday, January 26, 2015

My Three Centimes

What can you buy for 3 cents these days? Not much. If you saw a penny (or centime) on the ground, you probably wouldn't even pick it up because the germs and dirt wouldn't be worth it.

But if you happen to have 3 cents in your pocket, I do know one thing you can buy—a plastic bag to carry your €89.99 boots in.

Because, you see, after spending €89.99 on a pair of boots (which is cheap for a lot of people but is kind of a big deal for me because I rarely buy clothes or shoes—have you seen the size of my closet?), you'd think they could just throw in the bag.

The first time I bought shoes at that place I bought two pairs. The lady asked, "Would you like blah blah blah?" in a tone that suggested I would NOT like "blah blah blah." Rather than ask her to repeat herself, like a normal person would, I just replied, "No."

These boots were made for walking, after paying for the bag
These boots were made for walkin', but first you have to get them home

As she pushed the two boxes across the counter and handed me my receipt, I realized she had asked if I wanted a bag. Whoops. Also, how annoying was that? Of COURSE I wanted a bag. Did she think I wanted to carry two clunky shoe boxes down the street?

When I returned to the store a few months later and bought my boots, I was ready when she asked the question. "Yes!" I proudly proclaimed. I wasn't going to struggle with boxes down the street, no sirree! I was getting a bag! You hear me, people? A plastic SACK. Spread the word!

The salesgirl stuffed the receipt and box in the sack and I was on my merry way. When I got home and extricated my new shoes from their fancy (it wasn't fancy) plastic bag, I noticed the price on the receipt: €90.02.

Seriously?

You're gonna charge me 3 cents for a bag when I'm already paying 90 euros? There was no way to wrap the cost of the bag into the overhead of the store? It's not like I mind paying 3 cents—it's literally pocket change—it's just the principle of charging for something that should be free.

I'm surprised they didn't charge me for the shoe box.

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Life's short. Laugh more. Buy my books at Amazon.com.

Vicki Lesage, Author